Alias Heyes and Curry
by DeniseV
Summary: Rodney talks, most of the time, about a favorite TV show.  John listens, not all of the time.  My 75th SGA story, and a short homage to one of my all time favorite TV shows.


"I would be Joshua Smith and you would be Thaddeus Jones," Dr. Rodney McKay explained as he walked alongside his scouting partner.

"What are you talking about?" Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard asked. "Thaddeus?" It was bad enough that they had the time to explore _another_ section of Atlantis; the Ancient city seemed never-ending to the Air Force officer. But that he was now stuck in a conversation with his annoying best friend, about something that John knew absolutely nothing about…well, that was just so wrong and completely unfair. Irksome. Yeah, that was the right word, both for the situation and for his Canadian friend.

"Come on. You've heard of 'Alias Smith and Jones'? It was an American television series from the early Seventies. Well, the show aired in the early 1970's. It took place in the 1880's," McKay explained to a perplexed and not really all that interested-looking Sheppard. "It had guns," Rodney went on, as though that simple fact meant that John would automatically have sought out such a show. What, did McKay think Sheppard spent his spare time surfing the net, putting "TV shows: guns" in the search term? Nope, that's not what John Sheppard surfed for on the internet.

Not at all.

"Early Seventies, huh? Like 1970, 1971?"

"Seventy-one, I think. Why?" McKay asked as he entered the doorway to his right, hoping that the brief description had rung a bell with his 'partner'.

"That would explain why I might not know about it. I was four years old."

"Hm. You've never heard of re-runs?"

"Yes, I've heard of re-runs, Rodney. I just never saw this show you're talking about."

"Hm." That was irksome, too, John thought. "Interesting how Canada and the U.K. seem to have a greater appreciation of the finer American television programs than you Americans have."

"How long did this show last?" John queried, suspicious of the use of the word 'finer'.

"That's not important."

"Yeah, well that is interesting, about Canada and the U.K., Rodney, and a whopping generalization. You should know better."

"Well. Maybe," McKay responded. "Anyway, the show was about these two outlaws…"

"McKay, are you paying attention to what you're doing? After the last time we performed recon on a part of Atlantis, I believe you were walking and talking and set something off."

Rodney McKay started to open his mouth to speak after Sheppard's interruption, but then shut it quickly. His face told the story: that he remembered his faux pas on their last journey through a previously unexplored section of the city.

It hadn't been pretty.

"That was inadvertent," Rodney replied. He looked…supremely embarrassed. It made John laugh.

"No kidding. What was the topic that time, McKay?" the colonel asked teasingly. Sheppard remembered, and he knew McKay did, too. Since Duranda, but especially since losing Carson, McKay had been super-focused on a specific type of television or movie entertainment.

"I'm, um, not sure that I recall."

"Sure you do. Didn't it have something to do with, oh…shocking…a television show?"

"Well…"

"'Starksy and Hutch', wasn't' it?"

"I don't…"

"Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't let it go. You kept insisting that you were Starsky."

"Well…"

"There's no way, McKay. I am definitely Starsky. You're Hutch, receding hairline and all."

"He wasn't really losing his hair during the show."

"Sure he was. Whatever." And talk about denial. "But come on, you know that I'm a lot more like Starsky and you're a lot more like Hutch."

"I never agreed to that," McKay challenged.

"No, you didn't. And you still deny it even after we took that survey…"

"A very unscientific study, I might add," Rodney said in an attempt to defend his position.

"How scientific does it need to be? Besides, there really is no margin of error to worry about. _Everybody_ agreed that I was Starsky and you were Hutch."

"Yes. Well, that's not today's discussion, is it? Today's discussion is 'Alias Smith and Jones'."

"I'm not sure we can have a 'discussion', Rodney, if the only one talking is you," John said to his friend's back. McKay stopped short and Sheppard slammed into him. "Hey!"

"I was going to explain the show and the characters to you and then you would have a basis for comparison, but if what you would rather do is walk through here in silence, I can do that."

Sheppard replied as expected. "Ha! No you can't."

"Yes I can. Starting now."

And thus began the longest four minutes of John Sheppard's life.

Rodney McKay barreled ahead, doing what Rodney did best: showing that he knew it all. A pissed off and obnoxious McKay was way more dangerous than a TV addicted philosophizing obnoxious McKay any day. Rodney charging around this uncharted section of Atlantis like a bull in a china shop was making John nervous. And Rodney was sticking to his guns, so to speak: he was not talking.

It was more than mildly disconcerting.

So before Rodney could do something that John and the rest of the Atlantis expedition would regret, the colonel decided it would be wise to let the genius blab on about his damned show.

"McKay!" he said loudly over the din of silence from his friend. "Tell me about 'Alias Smith and Jones'. Please."

"Oh, well. Good. First, as I said before, you're Jones. That's an alias, by the way. Thus the title, 'Alias Smith and Jones'," he added, using his fingers to quote around the word 'alias'. Sheppard hated that, and he was pretty sure McKay knew it. "His real name is Jedediah 'Kid' Curry." More finger quoting. "Me, I'm Smith, but my real name is Hannibal Heyes. They were 'the most successful outlaws in the history of the west', so the story goes," Rodney added.

There had been more finger quotes there, flapping animatedly from Rodney's lithe, energetic hands. John decided he would henceforth ignore the finger quotes. And as he listened to his friend describe the characters' partnership, possibly cousins, but that was iffy because it was season three – John couldn't wait to hear what THAT meant – and the actors' chemistry, and then how Rodney's face held more melancholy for a moment than it did nostalgia as he continued to describe a show that had obviously meant a great deal to him in his youth, he realized that they – he and Rodney – were indeed like the best buddy pairings from TV and the movies. And it really didn't matter which one of them was Butch or the Sundance Kid, or Starsky or Hutch, Crockett or Tubbs, or Riggs or Murtaugh. Or even Thelma or Louise.

Or Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.

They were living their own buddy movie, a movie replete with more adventurous and dangerous moments than most of these characters would ever have imagined living through, though to hear Rodney McKay tell it, Curry and Heyes did seem to survive a lot of great adventures in the Old West.

It was good to have a buddy, though John wondered if that whole 'chemistry' thing wasn't a little overrated. Rodney was his best buddy, but that didn't prevent thoughts of killing him coming to mind nearly every day.

Chemistry Schmemistry.

The End.


End file.
